It’s a question I often find myself reflecting on.
We see couples celebrating 50 or even 60 years of marriage, and we admire their resilience, the way they’ve navigated life’s inevitable ups and downs together. And yet, in my work as a mediator I also see many relationships falter before they reach five years.
So, what makes the difference?
Is it luck, timing, or something deeper – commitment, communication, the ability to listen and adapt? Perhaps it’s a willingness to grow alongside one another, rather than apart. Or maybe it’s knowing when to pause, to repair and reset, rather than let small cracks widen.
At the end of this month, my husband and I will be celebrating 35 years of marriage. That milestone has made me reflect on how no relationship is without challenge, it’s how we handle those challenges – with respect, curiosity and patience – that often determines the outcome. Also acknowledging how much can be gained from patience, humour, and the determination to keep talking even when it feels hard.
There isn’t one neat answer, but there is one important question: what practices or values do you want to bring into your relationships to help them thrive?
It’s worth pausing to think about.
