How often do you take the time to really listen attentively to what someone is saying?
Do you actually hear what they were saying?
We can all be guilty of not listening, thoroughly. People going through a relationship breakdown, at home or work, often fail to hear what the other person is saying. We all need to invest a little more time focusing on our listening skills.
It’s all about communication. The art of listening and of being heard.
Listen carefully to what the other person is saying.
You may not appreciate or understand their point of view but consider how things may appear to them. Different perspectives, or different demands on them, can place a whole different spin on a situation.
Presumption can also result in mistaken beliefs, and cause dialog to fall apart.
It’s all too easy to let your mind wander when listening to someone. You may feel you have heard it all before but did you really listen to them? You may have interrupted or talked across them. If so, perhaps you failed to really hear them?
Consider your choice of words. How will the other person react to your words? Some words can cause hurt or anger. Words that are difficult for someone to hear or accept, may cause retaliation. This can lead to a communication breakdown. Be respectful. Choosing less damaging words is likely to achieve a more positive response.
Being assertive or pushing your point of view may be seen as rude. This can infuriate the other person. You may almost see them physically withdraw, or give up talking. They may feel there is no point in replying as they won’t be heard.
They may have a need to explain something to you, to gain your understanding. They may appear to be critical, or questioning, when only trying to understand. Give a little time to focus and listen, actually hearing what they say can make a world of difference.
In mediation, you both have a time to speak, and a time to be heard.
It is only when we have been given the time to speak, and have been listened to, do we feel respected. As a result, conversations can develop, enabling solutions to be found.
Contact Greater Manchester Mediation Limited for help in restoring communication and reaching solutions.
